I just read this waiting mother's thoughts on external beauty and while I would never do something so extreme as what her mother did to her, I do feel sometimes we focus too much on our children's beauty. I think my two daughters are the most beautiful children on the planet, but I sometimes cringe when people dwell on this. I cringe even more when they speak in generalities about how beautiful Ethiopian people are, or even worse generalities about all people of color. More than once a well-meaning acquaintance has squealed "Oh, I just love little ethnic babies!" It's an absurd comment, really, because we are all ethnic. We all came from somewhere. But I cringe because the sentiment has a patronizing quality to it.
One of the things I write about in my memoir is that I never want to be one of those kinds of people... the kinds who turn their personal lives into some big issue and lecture people all the time about what words are OK to use. But I have realized that there are a handful of issues that get on my nerves, and I hope this will be a place where I can voice them without coming across as strident or overly sensitive. Everyone I've encountered has been so positive about our adoption of our daughters. But I think I'm going to need to rant just a little bit about some of those things. And the post above really rang true for me and made me think of one of those issues.
Curious to hear what others say about commenting on the beauty of Ethiopian children, or children of other ethnicities. Has it happened to you or to your kids? How do you respond?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
Hi Erin,
Wow, we do have a lot in common. (I also love Spinal Tap & Barbara Kingsolver, & have a brother in Afghanistan right now). So glad to connect with other mixed race families, especially Jewish ones. It's so comforting as we embark on this Ethiopian adoption.
Jen
Post a Comment